Yes!!! The World Is Going To End In 2012

Even if you're a total recluse, I'm sure you've heard or at least seen those terrible 2012 movie trailers. If you haven't just imagine what Michael Bay's first wet dream was, and throw John Cusack in it. I know, not a pretty sight. This isn't the first time I've heard about the world ending in 2012. I've heard plenty of douchebags talk about it as if it were actually going to happen. But sadly, now I'm one of those douchebags. You might be asking yourself "Feldernator why did you become a douchebag?", I'll tell you why. I was doing what any failure of a person would be doing on a Wednesday night. I was procrastinating doing my retardedly easy communty college homework, and decided that buying a pizza could somehow motivate me. The only problem with ordering pizza, is that you have to look up the number to a pizza place, type numbers in on a phone, and worst of all you have to talk to an actual person...NO THANK YOU. So I attempted to do what every worthless twenty year old with an iPhone would do. I tried to find an application that would allow me to order a pizza with little effort, and not talk to a single person. Ok, now here's the kicker. I found it. There's actually an application out there that services every WOW head, and forty year old virgin. I looked up this application as a joke, a hopeless quest out of laziness and too much weed, and there it was. Now I realize what this application represents, it's the first step. The first step to never having to leave the house, and ending all human contact. It may sound stupid now, but give it three years. Pretty soon the iPhone is going to come out with their most popular application, the iBlowjob. The iBlowjob will be the greatest technogical service EVER. But just like any other sexual service that costs $0.99, it's going to come with some consequences. Those consequences will most likely be some weird computer sexual virus. Just like that, we're all dead, and all those douchebags who thought the end of the world was going to happen will be saying, "I told you so", in that condescending child like voice. But hey, who cares, I'll have my death handed to me via blowjob any day.