Lets get right to it. There are some movies that every single man needs to watch in order for him to make sound decisions in society. If I had it my way, I would ask every politician what his favorite movies are, and base my vote solely upon it. As brash as it may seem, you'd be surprised what you can tell from a person from their movie taste. For example, if they say the Godfather is the greatest movie of all time, they most likely agree with what the majority of the world says, are incredibly boring, and think snuggies and shamwows are household neccesities. If they pick a horror film, there's a good chance they're goth, listen to the cure, and dress up way too intensely for halloween. If they choose something as god awful as Twilight, then they listen to the Jonas Brothers, and feel uncomfortable when people swear in public. But without further ado here are the five movies every man NEEDS to watch.
5. Requiem for a dream
May induce vomiting
- Yes, this movie is about drugs, and focuses on a conventional heroin story. But there is so much more to it then that. Each character in the story tries to obtain their own version of the "American Dream", and each one of them replaces it with drugs. If everyone in the world watched this movie, heroid addiction would be at an all time low, and so would the amount of complaints people have. If you've ever felt sorry for yourself, or thought your life has reached an all time low, then rent this movie immediately. If you can make it through this movie, and actually appreciate the beautiful story being unraveled in front of your eyes then cograts you've just gotten your first chest hair.
4. Fight Club
You'll never look at soap the same way again
[spoiler alert!]
- Tired of being a pencil pushing cubicle monkey climbing up some corporate ladder for no intrinsic gratification. Then do what this guy did. Blow up your condo, create an imaginary friend, and beat the crap out of yourself. OH!!!, and don't forget to start a internal terrorist organization whose only goal is creating chaos, in order to free the corporate slaved population that is American middle class. Talk about a take charge movie! This movie just makes you want to quit your job, and beat the crap out of the first person you see. If you hate the machine, realize you're a pussy for never getting in a fight, and now despise the way you get excited for Banana Republic sales, then guess what you're one step closer to becoming a man.
3. Layercake
Long legs and cocaine... Sign me up!!!
- The story of a high level, street smart cocaine dealer attempting to leave the dirty business he's in. But there's a catch...obviously. He has to do one more job for his boss before he can go. Turns out this job gets him on the hit list of one of the deadly assassins in the world. Apparently he has a thing for decapitating his victims (I’d piss my pants). The sheer suspense, drama, and beautiful continuity of a story of ones rise to power makes this film an absolute must. If this movie teaches you anything, it’s that being careful isn’t being careful enough, always prepare for the unexpected.
2. Dr. No
Don't let the crew cut and baby blue polo fool you... He kills people
- Old school baby!!! I'm not saying that Bonds’ misogynistic ways will help you pick up most women in today’s society, but it might help you snag a couple of cougars. This was the first of the first, the holy grail of the “Man’s Man” movies. If you were to frame a picture of Sean Connery and put it above your bed, I certainly wouldn’t question your sexuality. Because let’s face it, Sean Connery set the tone for the most suave, badass male movie character in film history. This movie had everything, a breathtaking bond beauty who was introduced to us via hot bathing suit, and an evil villain with metal hands…METAL HANDS!!! You have to respect the old school, if not just a little bit. So getting this movie under your man belt is a must as well.
1. American Beauty
It's never too late to get it back
In all honesty I could've just written this article's title as "The one movie every man needs to watch", because that's exactly what this is. Here we follow Lester Burnham, and his pathetic life. As he so eloquently points out, his high point of the day is masturbating in the shower. But this isn’t the typical mid-life crisis movie, where the protagonist breaks free and some stupid montage cures everything. No, it’s much more complex than that. Lester does what every 45-year-old male wants to do once he finds himself surrounded by the dull suburban lifestyle he so mindlessly wandered into. He blackmails his boss, buys a sweet car, and starts smoking weed. If that’s not beauty, then I don’t know what is. This movie goes deeper than that though. It’s a constant struggle for Lester in his quest not only to obtain self worth, but to obtain the love of his family too. If anything is gained from this movie it’s one quote “I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back”.
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